"What is a guy when he's a nothing, a nothing but stuffing, ain't even got a name. I've changed on the out side, but on the inside, I still feel the same. Maybe some day I'll know who I am, but for right now, somehow, I don't have a name." Tigger, from Winnie the Phoo
It seems as though we men have trouble understanding just what it is that we should be devoting our time fighting for. We spend time fighting for things, but often we're punching at the very air around us instead of fighting for that which matters. As men we are given a name at birth that we carry with us until we die. But, for many of us, we have lost the connection to our name. And I'm not talking about our given name, but the tag that binds all the male gender together. That three letter word...Men. In this day and age in which we live, it almost sounds like a swear word. We don't seem to know who we are any more.
In our culture, as in many others, the family as we have known it for so many generations, is on the decline. Along with that decline, young boys as well as adolescent men have had no male role models in the home teaching them what it is to be a man and so they turn to look outside of the home.
Many of them end up being sports figures. Some may be from the entertainment industry. And still others, from the political or business arena. None of these mediums are wrong in general, but they do not produce the best role models as an example for the young nubile minds that are looking at them for the example of what it is to be a man. And, as is often the case, those who have been held up as role models in this day and age can be very questionable at best.
We all understand that we are flawed and less than perfect at times, (no one is more guilty of that than me) but how we live our lives leaves an indelible imprint on the minds of those we have influence over. And, how we live our lives in private, is who we are. Just as the quote above states, "I've changed on the outside, but on the inside I still feel the same."
We have heard it said in reference to public leaders, that what is done in private has no bearing on how this person will function as a leader. I don't think so!! Questionable decisions made in private, translate to questionable decisions made in public, that end up effecting everyone. And believe me, our wives and children can read between the lines. We need the strength of character to be the person in our private lives, that we are seen as in our public lives.
I love the movie "Second Hand Lions." If you have never seen it, it is a great story about just this theme...a young boy, pre-adolescent, with no male role model in his life. That is however, until he moves in with two of his Uncles and he begins to see what it is to be a man. The following quote is from one of the Uncles played by Robert Duvall.
"I'm Hub McCann...I fought in two world wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I've lead thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords, to artillery and tanks!! I've seen the head waters of the Nile and tribes of natives no white men had ever seen before. I've won or lost a dozen fortunes, killed many men and loved only one women with a passion a flee like you could never begin to understand...that's who I am."
Now, I doubt many of us has a resume' like that of Hub McCann, and it really doesn't matter for the purposes of this blog. What is poignant however, is that Hub McCann knew who he was. And, because he knew who he was he could make the last statement that is bolded and underlined without any hesitation.
Many of us are going through this life not knowing or understanding the real meaning of that three letter word...Men. We have a concept in our minds, created by what has shaped us, but does it allow us to state infactically...this is who I am with certainty of our character. And, is it something you can state without hesitation. Or, do you have a tag associated with you that denotes something negative?? Something that gets in the way of allowing you to..."love only one women with a passion..." Are you a nothing, a nothing but stuffing?? Do you have a name?? Are you the same man outside, that you are on the inside?? Well if not, that would be worth fighting to discover.
Now, that's something worth fighting for!!
